randomscribbles

so is it all or nothing? or is it just half of something unreal? the confusion has to have an end. maybe i should just learn to be brave and take the plunge. or maybe i should spend more time alone and disappear for a while.

Posted by at 12:10 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)

annoying little things today:
it's snowing again / my new haircut is too short / my blog was spammed by 236 comments last night (aaaaargh!!! die spammers!!! die!!!) so now i have to upgrade to the new version of MT with the risk of breaking things in my blog while installing it / i have waay too many projects going on at the same time right now.

but on the bright side:
i finally have more RAM installed in my computer at work (about time!) / yesterday after i had a haircut, my hairdresser gave me a gift card that i could use to get any service in the salon for free, so i picked the 80 minute 'la stone massage,' a fancy schmancy $145 massage which i would never get otherwise. so even though sometimes she's too enthusiastic in cutting my hair, i still love her to death.

update (1:33pm):
i've upgraded MT and installed this nifty little plugin to delete all 236 comments in one easy step. whew! :)

Posted by at 10:34 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

well, except for the ears, obviously...

this was posted at godote's forum for "You in Vector". what a great excuse to procrastinate... hehe... i was supposed to work on my projects, but spent hours to do this instead... :P

as with mostly everything, the key to vectorizing is patience. lots and lots of it.

Posted by at 02:56 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

excuse me while i'm having another morbid moment...
it's definitely the direct effect of listening to too much phillip glass in one night while being entertained by people more morbid than me. well, you know who you are... :P

Posted by at 03:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)

what do you do when you're faced with a temptation so absolute and so real that you no longer have the strength, or even desire, to fight it? you tell yourself to just go with the flow, day in and day out. but you're really just running around in circles, trying to runaway with no avail. going deeper into the abyss of confusion and guilt. all you believe in suddenly feels like a lot of empty spiritual bullshit that's good only when unchallenged by reality. how long can you refute it? pretend that it's not really happening? that truth is somewhere else? how long before it finally brings you crumbling down? can you even bring yourself to look into the mirror and see this stranger looking back at you then? you just start making excuses after excuses... becoming more and more numb. until one day you eventually reach the end of the abyss and wonder what the big fuss was all about. one thing you should remember then. curiosity (triggered by boredom) always kills the cat.

Posted by at 07:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

a snippet of a random wednesday morning chat...

------------------------snip------------------------

****** says: (11:19:36 AM)
   kayaknya lu & gw ... going on deh

d says: (11:20:42 AM)
   maksud elo depresinya gak sembuh2 gitu ya kalo kita?

****** says: (11:20:54 AM)
   yupz

d says: (11:56:55 AM)
   hahaha

------------------------snip------------------------

Posted by at 12:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, it did. -6°F (-23°C) with a f*%&ing wind chill of -27°F this morning when i was leaving the apartment!!! yet another day of taking a cab to work...

btw, yesterday when i was chatting with my cab driver (who's very nice and friendly), i told him i was from indonesia, and guess what he said! "apakah kamu bisa berbahasa indonesia?" imagine how shocked i was. that was pretty random, no? turned out that he liked learning different languages. he's from haiti, so he can already speak french and creole, in addition to english. he can also speak a little bit of japanese. a multilingual cab driver! isn't that awesome?

Posted by at 09:56 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

in the midst of -2F weather, i'm hopelessly and pathetically missing my old home austin. sweet beautiful austin.

here are some links to my favorite places in austin:

bull creek:
http://community.webshots.com/photo/14057537/14057701xqPieLTmFt
http://austin.citysearch.com/profile/11353817?cslink=roundup_name_noncust

barton springs:
http://austin.citysearch.com/profile/11353809?cslink=search_name_noncust
http://www.ph.utexas.edu/~bowie/scott/springs/family97.html

room service:
http://austin.citysearch.com/profile/10232540?cslink=roundup_name_noncust

spider house:
http://austin.citysearch.com/profile/10212870?cslink=search_name_cust
http://www.spiderhousecafe.com

mozart's:
http://www.mozartscoffee.com

and of course, there are also coffeeshops i can't live without like mojo's, little city, dolce vita, flipnotics, and metro. ah, metro! i would never get through college without metro, one of those few coffeeshops near campus that's open 24 hours...

Posted by at 04:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

ok, so i'm supposed to be cleaning my apartment since a few hours ago. but then i got distracted by cooking dinner (hey, i gotta eat, too!), watching animes, working a little on my project, and then digging around the countless messy, neglected folders in my site, hoping to delete/archive some files i don't really need. well, look what i found!

i used to write little cheesy pseudo-poems back when i was in college, 5-7 years ago. when i first had an account with geocities, i put up some of my writings online. and here they are. heh heh... it's kinda funny to read through them again and reminisce what propelled me to write these things. i like #3 in particular; aptly titled "the shit has finally hit the fan." i wrote that in my last semester in college, when i only had 2-3 hours of sleep a day (sometimes i didn't even sleep for days!) trying to catch up with the seemingly never-ending piles of exams, presentations, projects and assignments. ahhh... the bitter-sweet memory of college...

Posted by at 11:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (9)

drinking coffee at 11pm on a monday night is a bad idea. even worse when it's followed by half a pack of cigarettes. it's almost 4am, and my brain is still refusing to shut down. i can almost literally hear the churning in my head. just too many things to think about at the same time. damn insomnia.

Posted by at 03:52 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

went to providence on saturday night, and nothing to do at the coffee shop. still in a morbid mood, so here's the result an hour later. now it's become my new wallpaper.

Posted by at 11:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

it's snowing again last night, so the temperature is up to a warm and toasty 27°F (-3°C); much improvement to the crazy single-digit weather we've been having all weekend.

went to this funky new club in somerville called the toast lounge on friday night for wendy's birthday. had perhaps a little bit too much fun with the shots, but oh well... still got nothing to do at work right now, and the only friend i was chatting with on msn this morning has left to explore toronto. sniff... i'm so jealous. what should i do now? i'm so boreeeeddd...!!!

oh, btw, the bigger and better vektorika magazine #3 is out. also check out this awesome collection of posters from the 1920s-30s.

Posted by at 10:41 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

yesterday i got a voice message from the admission office, telling me that i've been admitted into the educational media & technology grad program. i was completely ecstatic for the first 10 minutes, then with a sudden wave of panic, i realized that if i were to start this spring, that would mean i would start going to class this monday, which practically only gave me one working day (today) to figure things out!!! and i absolutely had no clue what classes to take, when i could meet with my advisor, how i'm gonna juggle school with my job, whether i got the scholarship or not, and how/when i had to register for classes, etc. there's no way i could take care all of them in just one day! and when i tried calling my advisor, turned out that he wasn't even in today! so how am i supposed to know what to do now??? what will happen if i don't register today? will i not be able to start this spring then? *pulling out hair*

anyway, it's ridiculously cold today! when i left home to work this morning, the temperature is 1°F!!! can you believe it??? that means -18° Celcius!!!

update (3:31pm):
ok, so it looks like i won't find out about the status of my scholarship apps until after march, cuz they only give new ones in the fall. i finally get to talk to my advisor via email, and he suggested a few courses i can take. i decided on a 4-credit online course, since it gives more flexibility. just one class for starter, considering i still have lots of things to straighten up first, and since i'll be paying for it myself until i found out about the scholarship.

but nothing's ever easy. i had to call various different numbers just to register, and kept getting different answers and being referred to even more phone numbers to call, cuz i wasn't even in the system yet, and it's friday afternoon, and finally i was told that the person doing the registration has left for the day, so i wouldn't be able to register until monday morning. and since it's an online course, no one knows for sure whether i have to come in on monday for an initial meeting with the instructor! aaarrrgghhh!!! *pulling out more hair*

Posted by at 12:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

this sudden below-zero weather somehow brought me into a bleak mood... or maybe it's just because i've been listening to morbid bjork songs all night. anyway, this one's inspired by one of her songs, called play dead.

Posted by at 12:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

it's definitely hard to get off the post-holiday denial. i need more sleep! the gray sky, icy rain and dropping temperature are not exactly helping my mood, either. at least there are not too many things to do at work yet. but i probably wouldn't be as lucky in the next few days.

for those who asked, hawaii was great; blue skies, warm weather, and it's always nice to spend time with family. the new year's eve cruise was kinda disappointing, due to a very bad dj and the fact that the boat only circled around for a few miles. but at least we got a pretty nice view of the fireworks at midnight. on new year's day we decided to drive down to nyc and spend a night there, cuz it's only thursday (most of us had friday off), and we were bored. so that was fun. saturday and sunday were pretty relaxing... just talking and reading, basically.

so how was your holiday/new year celebration?

i've been wanting to add a new section to this blog for the pictures i took with my camera phone. i've been so very uncontrollably trigger-happy with that phone lately, so might as well put the pics up as a daily or weekly photolog...

anyway, here are some links for today: new edition of born magazine is out, and david carson has some new stuff. oh, and did anybody remember the "all your base are belong to us" phenomenon a few years ago? well, here's the video... hee hee...

Posted by at 12:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)