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September 30, 2002

seekin' the cause

here's one from miguel pinero, designed by yours truly (whether i'm actually obsessed with him or benjamin bratt, i still have to decide)...


hmmm... i guess shopping is, afterall, the common (effective) cure for end-of-summer blues...

went to the wrentham outlet yesterday and bought a really nice black coat, a really pretty cream-colored top, and a pair of very comfy brown loafers... :D~

we were supposed to have a "cooking night" at wulan's, but since half of the people went to the outlet all day, we ended up just buying the foods instead of cooking them... except for wulan and evi, who cooked opor ayam and fried dumplings... yummm...

anyway, did i ever mention that during the past month i've turned into a cheesy-asian-tv-series addict? it all started with meteor garden, a taiwanese production that's very popular in indonesia (and many other parts of asia, i think) and was adapted from a japanese comic series... i think it's definitely karma, cuz i was laughing so hard when i saw the first episode of meteor garden at my cousin's place... and i was all like, "i can't believe you watch these things!" but then after watching a couple more episodes, i was mysteriously but hopelessly converted and finished all 19 episodes in a week... *blush*

i surprise myself sometimes... but i guess i do have a corny side that needs to be entertained occasionally... :P

September 28, 2002


only one little phone call, less than 18 minutes long.
but enough to make me all sad and blue.

why can't people i care about be as contented as i am?
all i ever wanted is for everyone to be happy.
why can't it ever be that simple?

September 25, 2002


here's a useless happy fact: it's my 100th entry in the blog! :P

anyway, finally went to see spirited away on sunday night...

it was a fun movie, but i think i like princess mononoke better, just cuz it's prettier... :)

wendy took me to an MIT frat party on friday night... the frat house was really close to my apartment, only about 3-4 blocks away, and it's an old, 5-story brownstone building. there were about 30 people living there, and all of them are into media and art, even though most of them majored in engineering or some other things not related to art... the interiors of the house almost resembled an amusement park... most of the walls had colorful murals (some of them glow in the dark) and the stairs were painted black... there was this small room that was filled with foams that you could jump into... the beds in the rooms were suspended from the ceilings with some sort of metal pipes, and in one of the rooms there was this huge net hanging from the ceiling and people were sitting on it. a few people were standing below the net and read excerpts from dr. seuss (they made it sound like poetry), while the others watch and listen from above.

the party was almost over when we got there, but there were still a lot of people at the house... one of them was wendy's friend, sloan... turned out that he was once(?) in john maeda's group, and now he worked for this agency in cambridge called "small design firm," that specializes in creating innovative interactive pieces...

anyhoo, he recently worked on this really cool interactive piece for the christian science church — it's a fountain that has projected animated letters and words that flow to the floor and to the walls, where they then form famous quotes... what's cool about it is that all the animation is completely random and it only turns on when it detects someone approaching... his other project is with the museum of sex in new york, but i don't think it's completed yet... he promised we could go visit the media lab and look at some of the works... isn't that exciting! :)

September 20, 2002


by john lennon

love is real, real is love
love is feeling, feeling love
love is wanting to be loved

love is touch, touch is love
love is reaching, reaching love
love is asking to be loved

love is you
you and me
love is knowing
we can be

love is free, free is love
love is living, living love
love is needed to be loved


moving on a straight line with no end and no beginning each day, everyday is just like the one before and the next... maybe a few highlights on some weekends, but mostly it's all just the same... each day on auto-pilot, each day becoming more and more like a drone...

how do you separate your identity with your everyday life?

how true is this: you = your daily realities?

how do you differentiate the you, as in your whole being, that encompasses all your past experiences, background, and core values, with the you who's just responding to the routines as they come and go? where do you draw the line?

is identity this fluid thing that changes constantly, synching with whatever current external forces that surround us? if that's the case, then can't we also conclude that identity is thus no more than just an abstract concept that actually never exist?

well, the point is, i feel like i really have to wake up soon, before the line is getting blurrier and i can't get out anymore... or maybe i'm already too deluded to know the difference...

yesterday, a friend of mine told me this line from a movie (can't remember the title): "one is a wanderer, but two together always go somewhere."

i guess essentially it comes down to a question about life's priorities... either a totally self-serving solitude that will eventually turn meaningless, or getting out there in the open and just admit that yes, i am vulnerable, and i do need other people, just like everybody else.

hmm... not really making any sense, am i? oh well, at least it's friday... xP

September 19, 2002



i know it's not even fall yet... but i feel winter is very close... and i want it to be spring already...

anyway, my cousin took those pics last year... ice can be so pretty sometimes...

September 18, 2002


went to b&n after work on monday and bought two books by banana yoshimoto (one of them is a collection of her short stories, "lizard"... ah, i love short stories!) and also "the alchemist" by paulo coelho... i've been wanting to read it since last year... a lot of people compare it with "the little prince" (saint exupery), and i'd have to agree... such an enjoyable book!

so thanks partly to the books, i'm finally feeling a little better today...

this afternoon i decided to do an illustration (well, i traced an image, to be precise, so it's not really original) to be printed oversize (40"x30") for my empty apartment wall... added a few little details and colors, and then off to kinkos... it should be ready by saturday morning....

playing with illustrator and colors proved to be highly therapeutical for me.... cuz now i'm actually feeling like working again! :P~

September 16, 2002

just so out of it

well, what can you say... it's monday again! yuuuccccckkkk...
and it's so dark and gloomy outside. i guess it's gonna rain soon...
i'm SO lethargic and cranky today... don't wanna work...
just wanna go home and stare at the wall for as long as i feel like it... x(

everything's just so boring and meaningless.

maybe i should go rent a happy movie after work
or a happy easy-read book
maybe that'll help...

September 13, 2002


if he doesn't call, why should i care?
it's friday, and i should be excited for the weekend,
not wasting my time uselessly thinking about him instead... x(

September 12, 2002


blecchhh.... x(

2.5 more hours to go... don't know what to do with myself...
not in the mood to browse (surprise surprise!), nor chat on msn, nor anything that has anything to do with staring at a computer screen! i wanna go to the esplanade and sleep on the grass under the sun... today's a bit cold, but bright and sunny nonetheless...

uhhh... good thing tomorrow is friday!


had a nice farewell dinner for willy last night at my new apartment... what an improvement! i had 10 people total in my studio and it didn't really feel that crowded— at my old place, it was already uncomfortable with just 4 people!

my rendang was quite a success (thank you indofood! :P), and the duck willy had brought was delicious! thank God my fussy neighbor downstairs didn't complain about the noise... i was practically shooing everybody out of my apartment by 11:30 because i was worried he's gonna show up at my door (again!)... :(

should remember to get plastic plates and cups for next time, though... cuz i just found out last night (when it's already too late) that i didn't have enough plates and glasses for everyone... so people had to eat out of plates and glasses of various sizes and shapes... how embarassing! my excuse was that i just moved and wasn't completely settled in yet... :P

September 09, 2002


went to see a collection of shorts @ copley after work with ralph... it was sponsored by the boston film festival (just found out about the festival yesterday... and it's ending this week... d-uhh!!!)

there were eight shorts total, but only one that i really like; the scene opened with a woman waking up in the early morning with a guy beside her on the bed. turned out that she had a one-night stand with this guy she met at the bar the night before, and this woman just wanted to get out of there asap, preferrably before the guy woke up... cuz she was actually married.

as she slowly tiptoed to the window, there was this loud crash and a man fell from somewhere above and got stuck on the branches right outside the window. he was making a lot of noise; he wanted the woman to cut the branches so he could continue his suicide attempt... they ended up arguing, cuz the woman just wanted to leave and of course she didn't want to be blamed for assisting a suicide attempt.

to make a long story short, the man didn't die (he actually fell down in the end, but one of his legs was caught on a water pipe or something so he was fine) realized his mistakes and was willing to give it another try with his wife (they had a baby, after all)... the woman who was cheating on her husband finally made her escape from the apartment building and hailed a cab to go home...

i love shorts, it was very similar to reading a comic strip... either they got it on the very first scenes, or they don't.

September 04, 2002


just pretend
it never happened
and we never met

would it be easier?

i cannot breathe

it's september again
and it just keeps raining
i'm falling into the cold
drenched in gray water

but not even a glimpse
of your shadow
is there.

— for d —